So I’m going to be honest with you. I started this venture of Simple Balance Today as part of a personal journey of self-discovery and also to help and connect with others on a similar path. I’m loving the journey so far with its twists and turns. Although I must admit that some days are easier than others, especially in this time of change and uncertainty!
So today I was feeling pushed and pulled in different directions. I have many different projects I wish to work on, sometimes it’s knowing where to start! All these tasks are screaming for attention. “Me first!”, “No me first!”. There are the practical tasks of life e.g. housework, bills, finances, shopping and feeding yourself. There is what you enjoy doing, which for me is writing, playing music, researching, cooking, being out in nature etc. There are the things that are good for your health and wellbeing, such as exercise, good nutrition, yoga and meditation. There are socialising activities and those which keep you entertained e.g. films, books, video games, television etc. There is the internet and social media in which you can get lost for hours. There is travel and outdoor attractions, although not as readably available at the moment in some places! There is your job, life goals and projects. Anyway, the list can go on. So how do you decide what to do first? What is most on your mind? Is anything causing you stress and needs to be attended to? Making these decisions at times can quite frankly feel overwhelming and sometimes the temptation is to try to tackle too many things at once with potentially disastrous results and accompanying stress! You can end up with a lot of half-finished projects and not feel like you are getting anywhere.
On creating Simple Balance Today, I wanted to show that I am a work in progress. I am not a perfect specimen of a human being. I have my flaws and I mess up all the time like everyone else. I am on a journey to address some of my old limiting beliefs and emotions which have held me back from achieving my full potential. I really want to help others to see how they can realise their potential and be more in their true nature and less hiding behind an artificial persona. Can you learn and teach at the same time? Well I think so as we are always learning and passing on advice to others in our day to day lives. So I have big dreams for Simple Balance Today and what I want to give and show to the world. However, this is still all new to me.
After leaving my 9-5 office job, I am learning continuously and it can feel overwhelming at times when you are venturing into the unknown. Sometimes I feel that I should be further along than where I am at this point and when I see what fellow creators have done, I can berate myself and wonder why I haven’t achieved what they have yet. Why I am not further along on my journey and bursting at the seams with content, followers and making as big an impact as them? It’s lovely to look to others for inspiration and guidance. However, in a world where we are encouraged to constantly compare ourselves with other i.e. with social media. In a society which is fuelled by ego and the desire to achieve, consume and make money, it can leave us feeling deflated, a failure and simply not good enough. When is what you are doing ever enough? So if you’re not careful, these feelings of overwhelm and not feeling good enough can take root and affect you in your daily life, your relationships and what you want to achieve.
After all, unless there is an emergency or something needs your immediate attention, like a fire in your building, someone needing urgent medical assistance, you are about to become homeless, you have no food to eat, we need to question what the benefit of putting so much pressure on ourselves is. We know this deep down, but it’s hard to recognise it sometimes. Of course I can allude to the notion of fight or flight (and freeze) and how things have changed since our ancestors’ days of pure survival. However, I will save that discussion for another time.
So what did I do when these feelings of overwhelm and anxiety surfaced?
First I had the ‘Awareness’ something was not right. What was I feeling in my mind and body? At this point I paused and took a break from what I was doing, took a few deep breaths and tried to work out why I was feeling that way. Why am I putting this undue pressure on myself?
For me it is feeling under pressure and that sensation of anxiety in my stomach. I feel more irritable than usual and like I am behind before I have even started. I can neglect other things that need my attention which can relate to self-care like healthy eating, keeping organised, tackling my finances etc because of the overwhelming need to succeed on my various projects. I have so many ideas and projects on the go, which relate to and are separate to Simple Balance Today. I can end up just wanting to escape and do something which is pure distraction when it all gets too much and I don’t know where to start.
The next step was to think…why am I feeling this way?
Well in my case I realised that I was comparing myself with others and feeling like I hadn’t progressed quickly enough in what I wanted to achieve. (Although I appreciated that I was doing it subconsciously and it took deep questioning of my emotions and thought patterns to reach this conclusion). I also realised that I was taking on too much and by trying to over achieve, I was more likely to achieve a lot less and not get anything completed. It’s also that feeling of not being good enough, not being worthy of success and rather than focussing on what you have achieved, focussing instead of what you haven’t. It’s a negative outlook when you think about it.
So how did I turn this negative thought process around?
I started looking at things from a positive standpoint and worked out what I had achieved rather than what I hadn’t. I came up with the following statements/affirmations to help me and I hope they can help you too:
- I want to help others but I need to ensure my own personal needs are met too.
- I am “good enough” as I am and exactly where I need to be at this time.
- Everyone works at a different pace and is at a different stage in their life journey. I should be proud of my achievements thus far and not put myself under undue pressure if not necessary.
- I need to work through what needs to be done at a steady pace and ensure I do not neglect my self-care routine with at least a short meditation, gentle exercise, some deep breathing and some good nutrition each day.
- I will avoid comparing myself with others. I will forget what others are doing as it is only my perception in many ways; often focussing only on their good points when I am sure they are having daily struggles of their own. It’s easy to put rose-tinted glasses on what other people are like or doing when the reality can be a lot different.
- I will see myself as fine as I am. Okay I will still have slip ups and difficult days, but I will try to keep this in mind and practise kindness to myself.
So how do I feel now?
After this process, I experienced more calm and positivity. Now the hard job is to the sustain this practice but I feel confident that it is life-changing so I’m going to stick at it as best I can! And forgive and pick myself back up again if I ever do have “off days”. We are all human after all.
Sending love and blessings to you on your life journeys.
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Sending you love and respect wherever you are in the world ♥.
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Image 2: Courtesy of Simple Balance Today